First of all, my weakness is that I can't make others hurt because of me. It includes, the sacredness of being fooled or be-fooled. I know I am no one to be compared of others in public speaking or to be friendly in fact that it is awkward. I'm not like that. It saddens me sometimes when I feel I am really less in this and everybody is looking down to me. If only they can read my heart, which is always thinking and working to make initiative to talk smoothly and bravery just like them.
I feel like I am a fool by just being quiet all the times plus my blurred looking face. I know they think I am weird and no fun at all. Really, it doesn't supposed to disturb me at all, because this is the way I am and I always be. I cannot change myself just to entertain others. Maybe I can, but only for a few moments. Then, I became myself back. Unfortunately, I do cared about these things and it annoys me very very very MUCH.
Sometimes I really care about someone and I am scared if I do something, it will make them sad, and so I sacrifice myself a little bit and felt so happy if it really helps them. Unfortunately, many times I experienced of being stabbed from behind by them, because they don't even care to consider me.
Actually what am I to this world? Getting used several times when I want to be kind to them. Getting mad at something that is not even my fault. Being wronged at times I am right. Being left at times I waited others. Being scold at times I be patient to them.
Argghhh I wish I can explain this in the exact story but I can't.
Yes, I know there are rewards for those who are patient. Patient is not easy nor is hard. Everyone who choose it, will get it.
May Allah will always be for us. May He guide us till the end. Amiin. :)
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