Wednesday, 31 October 2012
This Aid Holiday
For this time, I felt like it was a bit dull than before. I don't know why, the celebration and so..
But the best thing is my house-mate's mom came all the way from Madinah and I got to taste very yummy foods such as Rendang daging, nasi himpit, kuah kacang, fried meehoon, cucur kodok, nasi lemak and corn pudding. Her mother just left this morning back to Madinah.
And now welcome back to normal life, where all things we must prepare ourselves. As a student, I need to study right? But I don't like the way that people are pushing or forcing me to study. No one tell me so, but it is EXAM....While learning new things too, I kept remembering about the fact that I should remember something just because I'm afraid of questions that will be asked during exam. Plus, our doctors too when giving us lectures, will say something about exam for example "You must remember this by your heart because there will come out in the exam" " In exam, you should answer it like....." Exam here, exam there, exam, exam, exam, exam.
Can't we learn something because it is our interest? And no exam!!!
But what can I do when this world is based on EXAM. If you don't score, you'll not succeed. This is the world that I live in now.
I hate the fact that someone will get really focused when exam is just 1 week aparts. They will do anything by not eating, not sleeping, and all. But, after the exam, they will enjoy all their hearts out.
I don't wish to be like that.
I want to read because I wanted to know.
I want to read because I love reading.
I want to read because I feel books is my companion when I'm lonely.
But what are in my thinking is:
I want to read because I'm scared of exam
I want to read because maybe someone is struggling better than me
I want to read because I am stupid
I want to read because everyone scares me
I want to read because nothing else I can do
I hate the life on study weeks. Seems like it is worst than my normal life. Everyone will get stressed, moody, sacrifice everything out, mind and soul like nothing is more important than exam.
So, can exam be something fun? I really wanna know if there are any tips to make studying and exams fun. Let's google it now.
But the best thing is my house-mate's mom came all the way from Madinah and I got to taste very yummy foods such as Rendang daging, nasi himpit, kuah kacang, fried meehoon, cucur kodok, nasi lemak and corn pudding. Her mother just left this morning back to Madinah.
And now welcome back to normal life, where all things we must prepare ourselves. As a student, I need to study right? But I don't like the way that people are pushing or forcing me to study. No one tell me so, but it is EXAM....While learning new things too, I kept remembering about the fact that I should remember something just because I'm afraid of questions that will be asked during exam. Plus, our doctors too when giving us lectures, will say something about exam for example "You must remember this by your heart because there will come out in the exam" " In exam, you should answer it like....." Exam here, exam there, exam, exam, exam, exam.
Can't we learn something because it is our interest? And no exam!!!
But what can I do when this world is based on EXAM. If you don't score, you'll not succeed. This is the world that I live in now.
I hate the fact that someone will get really focused when exam is just 1 week aparts. They will do anything by not eating, not sleeping, and all. But, after the exam, they will enjoy all their hearts out.
I don't wish to be like that.
I want to read because I wanted to know.
I want to read because I love reading.
I want to read because I feel books is my companion when I'm lonely.
But what are in my thinking is:
I want to read because I'm scared of exam
I want to read because maybe someone is struggling better than me
I want to read because I am stupid
I want to read because everyone scares me
I want to read because nothing else I can do
I hate the life on study weeks. Seems like it is worst than my normal life. Everyone will get stressed, moody, sacrifice everything out, mind and soul like nothing is more important than exam.
So, can exam be something fun? I really wanna know if there are any tips to make studying and exams fun. Let's google it now.
Monday, 29 October 2012
My feelings
I dont know why I'm supposed to feel this. It's not that I want something more but....ok, you describe this yourself.
First of all, my weakness is that I can't make others hurt because of me. It includes, the sacredness of being fooled or be-fooled. I know I am no one to be compared of others in public speaking or to be friendly in fact that it is awkward. I'm not like that. It saddens me sometimes when I feel I am really less in this and everybody is looking down to me. If only they can read my heart, which is always thinking and working to make initiative to talk smoothly and bravery just like them.
I feel like I am a fool by just being quiet all the times plus my blurred looking face. I know they think I am weird and no fun at all. Really, it doesn't supposed to disturb me at all, because this is the way I am and I always be. I cannot change myself just to entertain others. Maybe I can, but only for a few moments. Then, I became myself back. Unfortunately, I do cared about these things and it annoys me very very very MUCH.
Sometimes I really care about someone and I am scared if I do something, it will make them sad, and so I sacrifice myself a little bit and felt so happy if it really helps them. Unfortunately, many times I experienced of being stabbed from behind by them, because they don't even care to consider me.
Actually what am I to this world? Getting used several times when I want to be kind to them. Getting mad at something that is not even my fault. Being wronged at times I am right. Being left at times I waited others. Being scold at times I be patient to them.
Argghhh I wish I can explain this in the exact story but I can't.
Yes, I know there are rewards for those who are patient. Patient is not easy nor is hard. Everyone who choose it, will get it.
May Allah will always be for us. May He guide us till the end. Amiin. :)
First of all, my weakness is that I can't make others hurt because of me. It includes, the sacredness of being fooled or be-fooled. I know I am no one to be compared of others in public speaking or to be friendly in fact that it is awkward. I'm not like that. It saddens me sometimes when I feel I am really less in this and everybody is looking down to me. If only they can read my heart, which is always thinking and working to make initiative to talk smoothly and bravery just like them.
I feel like I am a fool by just being quiet all the times plus my blurred looking face. I know they think I am weird and no fun at all. Really, it doesn't supposed to disturb me at all, because this is the way I am and I always be. I cannot change myself just to entertain others. Maybe I can, but only for a few moments. Then, I became myself back. Unfortunately, I do cared about these things and it annoys me very very very MUCH.
Sometimes I really care about someone and I am scared if I do something, it will make them sad, and so I sacrifice myself a little bit and felt so happy if it really helps them. Unfortunately, many times I experienced of being stabbed from behind by them, because they don't even care to consider me.
Actually what am I to this world? Getting used several times when I want to be kind to them. Getting mad at something that is not even my fault. Being wronged at times I am right. Being left at times I waited others. Being scold at times I be patient to them.
Argghhh I wish I can explain this in the exact story but I can't.
Yes, I know there are rewards for those who are patient. Patient is not easy nor is hard. Everyone who choose it, will get it.
May Allah will always be for us. May He guide us till the end. Amiin. :)
I hate...
I know certain times we can be happy and certain times we might feel sad, moody, angry, and so forth. These are all human's mood. Did we ever realized that this mood could always affect others? Yeah, I agreed.
Me, myself sometimes felt really angry that I cannot bother to think about others or look, be nice to others. I feel I just need my own space and time without any intruders.
But what happened if someone is easily getting mad and moody just with some tiny little things. What it will make you like? At a time you're really happy going out or bla2, suddenly someone pulled off his face just for example he cannot found his pen. Does that really make sense? No, absolutely no.
Then, the next 2 days again he is bad mood. I think by just his bad mood increasing my bad mood too. Haha. So, what can I do with this kind of people? Be patient. That's it. Because he is not our siblings or all but just our friend. If we tell them what is really wrong about themselves I'm scared that he will get mad at myself then. No, no I'm not going to let you to get mad at me. So, it is better to get mad at him inside my heart, not to let it out.
OK goodbye :)
Me, myself sometimes felt really angry that I cannot bother to think about others or look, be nice to others. I feel I just need my own space and time without any intruders.
But what happened if someone is easily getting mad and moody just with some tiny little things. What it will make you like? At a time you're really happy going out or bla2, suddenly someone pulled off his face just for example he cannot found his pen. Does that really make sense? No, absolutely no.
Then, the next 2 days again he is bad mood. I think by just his bad mood increasing my bad mood too. Haha. So, what can I do with this kind of people? Be patient. That's it. Because he is not our siblings or all but just our friend. If we tell them what is really wrong about themselves I'm scared that he will get mad at myself then. No, no I'm not going to let you to get mad at me. So, it is better to get mad at him inside my heart, not to let it out.
OK goodbye :)
Wednesday, 17 October 2012
Monday, 15 October 2012
Me, Him & The Bus
It was the best day ever. HOLIDAY time is coming and so many things were playing inside my mind thinking of what to be done when I reached my HOME SWEET HOME hehe. Every preparation is done for my journey to the west back home, including buying bus ticket and packing my belonging and also some "souvenirs" from our beloved teacher = TONES of HOMEWORKS.Fiuh ~ ~
At that time we need to go to the station bus which is situated at Teluk Intan, Perak, which is about 1 hour I think (argghh I cannot even remember this??WHY??) While typing this I just remembered that we used to find "kereta sapu" or just any car that functioned like taxi, illegally. Then, the car will bring us to the city's bus station. Then, we need to find a bus to go to Teluk Intan, which is the main station bus to go back KL.
Everything went smoothly, until at the time we need to enter the bus, suddenly, one of the bus worker told that mine and also my friend's tickets were not valid. We got the last 2 seats at the back, unfortunately the bus seats was less than it was supposed to be, maybe they got the wrong bus. So he told us to wait for another trip and we need to wait for an hour more. We were so disappointed and we can;t sit still as we were very worried of what will happen to us.
"Should we go back to our school?" "Is there any seats for us in the next trip?" "If not, where should we sleep tonight?" "Is my parents will be worried?" So many questions in our mind. But, it was not our fault. We can summon them if we want because they are the one who sold us the tickets but then no seats???What the...
Then, we waited patiently till the next schedule came. We were so anxious while entering the bus and sit at the last 2 seats at the back. We prayed so that no one will come and say to us, "Hey, that's my seat".
Suddenly my heart stop beating for a moment, after I saw someone. Then it accelerated abruptly. After a few second a 2nd cardiac arrest hit me. I didn't even told to my friend who I liked at school, so I just acted coolly as if nothing happened. 2 boys I admired were in the same bus with me!!!
At first the 1st boy entered the bus and sit a few seats in front of us. When the second boy came, his end mine's eyes met. He just happily greeted his friends and went to the back. I cant look straight to him - worried if it will be too obvious. Then he just bumped his body to the seat just in front of me. I was very happy that the person I stalked all the time is just right in front of me. Then he and his friends had some chats, which then lead him to change his seat (maybe he got the wrong seat). But inside my mind, why did he just sit there without even looking at the seats number? There were some points TO ME that he hinted that he liked me???haha...After he moved to his actual seat, then the 1st boy came to the back with one of his friend, to the seats in front of us.
I felt that all problems just now vanished as I saw them both. But, the reality was different. We were still anxious. We kept asking towards each other the question that we cannot answer it ourselves. What a fool. But, I just asking her loud enough to make the 1st boy hear everything we said. I can see him quite curious of what the thing we were talking about, but I didn't expect him to ask us.
But then, he gentlemanly ask us!!
1st Boy : I'm sorry to interrupt. But why are you so anxious about? (while looking at my direction)
Me : Actually we have some problems. Our ticket bus is not valid. We were supposed to ride the
previous bus but its seats was less than the tickets they sold. (nervously and rapidly)
1st boy : (blurred face) sorry2, I can't understand. (still looking at me)
Me : (turned to my friend as if I said: You tell him then)
My friend: ............bla..........bla..............bla...........
1st boy : Oh, I see. Insya Allah, everything will be allright. Don't worry. (smile)
Us : Yeah, hopefully. Thank you. :)
We were lucky because nobody came and admit that it was their seats.
So many things happened at that day, and it ended with a very very beautiful experience.
1st: can be in the same bus with my 2 crushes.
2nd: got a chance to have an eye-to-eye conversation with the 1st boy!!!
I can't never imagine that I can talk with him!!! Something sweet to be remembered if we are really fated to each other..
After the holiday, I just knew that both of them were being nominated as our school Student Representative.
And I wonder if he talked to us just because he wanted to show how caliber he can be as a leader. I don't know. I wish he is not that kind of person.
So, basically it was the 1st and the last time we talked to each other.
P/S: The 1st guy is someone I talked before (the "twin" of my 1st admire), the 2nd one is the person I first admired.
At that time we need to go to the station bus which is situated at Teluk Intan, Perak, which is about 1 hour I think (argghh I cannot even remember this??WHY??) While typing this I just remembered that we used to find "kereta sapu" or just any car that functioned like taxi, illegally. Then, the car will bring us to the city's bus station. Then, we need to find a bus to go to Teluk Intan, which is the main station bus to go back KL.
Everything went smoothly, until at the time we need to enter the bus, suddenly, one of the bus worker told that mine and also my friend's tickets were not valid. We got the last 2 seats at the back, unfortunately the bus seats was less than it was supposed to be, maybe they got the wrong bus. So he told us to wait for another trip and we need to wait for an hour more. We were so disappointed and we can;t sit still as we were very worried of what will happen to us.
"Should we go back to our school?" "Is there any seats for us in the next trip?" "If not, where should we sleep tonight?" "Is my parents will be worried?" So many questions in our mind. But, it was not our fault. We can summon them if we want because they are the one who sold us the tickets but then no seats???What the...
Then, we waited patiently till the next schedule came. We were so anxious while entering the bus and sit at the last 2 seats at the back. We prayed so that no one will come and say to us, "Hey, that's my seat".
Suddenly my heart stop beating for a moment, after I saw someone. Then it accelerated abruptly. After a few second a 2nd cardiac arrest hit me. I didn't even told to my friend who I liked at school, so I just acted coolly as if nothing happened. 2 boys I admired were in the same bus with me!!!
At first the 1st boy entered the bus and sit a few seats in front of us. When the second boy came, his end mine's eyes met. He just happily greeted his friends and went to the back. I cant look straight to him - worried if it will be too obvious. Then he just bumped his body to the seat just in front of me. I was very happy that the person I stalked all the time is just right in front of me. Then he and his friends had some chats, which then lead him to change his seat (maybe he got the wrong seat). But inside my mind, why did he just sit there without even looking at the seats number? There were some points TO ME that he hinted that he liked me???haha...After he moved to his actual seat, then the 1st boy came to the back with one of his friend, to the seats in front of us.
I felt that all problems just now vanished as I saw them both. But, the reality was different. We were still anxious. We kept asking towards each other the question that we cannot answer it ourselves. What a fool. But, I just asking her loud enough to make the 1st boy hear everything we said. I can see him quite curious of what the thing we were talking about, but I didn't expect him to ask us.
But then, he gentlemanly ask us!!
1st Boy : I'm sorry to interrupt. But why are you so anxious about? (while looking at my direction)
Me : Actually we have some problems. Our ticket bus is not valid. We were supposed to ride the
previous bus but its seats was less than the tickets they sold. (nervously and rapidly)
1st boy : (blurred face) sorry2, I can't understand. (still looking at me)
Me : (turned to my friend as if I said: You tell him then)
My friend: ............bla..........bla..............bla...........
1st boy : Oh, I see. Insya Allah, everything will be allright. Don't worry. (smile)
Us : Yeah, hopefully. Thank you. :)
We were lucky because nobody came and admit that it was their seats.
So many things happened at that day, and it ended with a very very beautiful experience.
1st: can be in the same bus with my 2 crushes.
2nd: got a chance to have an eye-to-eye conversation with the 1st boy!!!
I can't never imagine that I can talk with him!!! Something sweet to be remembered if we are really fated to each other..
After the holiday, I just knew that both of them were being nominated as our school Student Representative.
And I wonder if he talked to us just because he wanted to show how caliber he can be as a leader. I don't know. I wish he is not that kind of person.
So, basically it was the 1st and the last time we talked to each other.
P/S: The 1st guy is someone I talked before (the "twin" of my 1st admire), the 2nd one is the person I first admired.
Friday, 12 October 2012
MY LONG LOST CRASH
It is normal right to have some crushes in our pathway. Ive got many types of crushes, and even there are some who when I rewind back, I did't know why I liked them.
Now, I wanna tell a little bit about someone I knew when I was in Form 2.
1st reason why I liked him : He looked like my other crush, and then I named him "kembar" or twin in English.
After stalking him about sometimes, here are his traits:
Introvert, but has leadership quality in him, handsome, kind, he was one of a top student in his batch, calm.
We even talked, which I think was really fated. I'll tell you later.
Even 2 of my best friends said that we really looked alike.
But, I think he is very famous. Even his fb friends reached 2000++."SIGH~"
Everyone will fall for him if they meet him. But, the best thing is I had fallen for him before he became famous and before I knew he is a genius.
Love. xoxo .
Now, I wanna tell a little bit about someone I knew when I was in Form 2.
1st reason why I liked him : He looked like my other crush, and then I named him "kembar" or twin in English.
After stalking him about sometimes, here are his traits:
Introvert, but has leadership quality in him, handsome, kind, he was one of a top student in his batch, calm.
We even talked, which I think was really fated. I'll tell you later.
Even 2 of my best friends said that we really looked alike.
But, I think he is very famous. Even his fb friends reached 2000++."SIGH~"
Everyone will fall for him if they meet him. But, the best thing is I had fallen for him before he became famous and before I knew he is a genius.
Love. xoxo .
Thursday, 11 October 2012
My now and my future,
I don't what will await me onwards,
But I'm enjoying this moment the best that I can,
Because this seconds will past just like that,
I wanted to be the best of me,
I'm really jealous of others,
Why I can't be like them,
But I think everyone is unique,
The world cannot have all person like me,
It is fair.
Whatever what will come,
I think Allah will lead me the way.
Thank you Allah for taking a very good care to us.
Saturday, 6 October 2012
Midsem
Midsem is just near the corner. And I didnt studied everything yet. I'm a bit lazy lately. What to do?Just remember, no one can help me if I'm not helping my own self
.
Some HWAITING wishes from them kkkk
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)